It had become one of her favourite parts of her estate as of late, the prayer room. Each morning, the sun would rise just right as to shine through the circular window, like arms outreached to offer a comforting embrace. Warm. Gentle. Grounded. It was something Julianni had cherished on the mornings she had been at home.
Not long ago, she purchased the property, but it still had grown on her. She knew the subtle sounds it made, the twists and turns the halls and rooms had provided. Most of all, she felt it was hers.
But not today.
Today, the sun was just that: a star within the sky that only rose because of the turn of the planet. No warm embrace to be offered, no comfort in the sight of such beauty.
This day, Julianni’s home stood as a simple building, its walls and foundation built because someone had ordered it, and she had just so happened to purchase it later on. There stood no other meaning.
So much laid itself to rest heavily upon her shoulders. The weight crushed her, pushing her under. And all the while, it was invisible. She could smile, and no one would have to know that each breath she took felt as if she were suffocating. A laugh could work its way from her lungs, and most would never be able to tell that blackened waters were drowning her.
There were perhaps one or two people that knew, that saw and heard Julianni’s gasping breaths for air. But to reach out for help was something she couldn’t do completely, for they were drowning, too. They needed more air than she did. They deserved it more. And so she would do her best to prop them up.
Such was her purpose, wasn’t it? Lord Degario had once told her to be that pillar; to the Faithful, she should be nothing less. No matter how many cracks that formed in the marble, they had to be filled with gold: hopeful smiles, encouragement, words of advice, and Faith. No one needed the knowledge that the very gold filling the cracks was also slowly destroying the stonework, threatening to consume it until there was nothing but the false material left. The pillar would stand until another took its place.
Then, and only then, could it crumble to dust, whipped away into the winds to be forgotten.
The world came back into focus, her reality seeping in.
No matter what it took, how much it hurt, how it may destroy her, she would do it. For them.